Category Archives: Love & Marriage

Interracial Relationships: What Really Happens

I’ve never been shy about crushing on men outside of my race. I love how different everyone is when it comes to skin color, culture, tradition, language. Life is interesting & beautiful this way. Being in an interracial relationship has been difficult, fun and quite interesting; but I wouldn’t have it any other way, I love my husband no matter what. But even though the world has changed over time, people still shun interracial love and refuse to budge. On the flip side of that, I think people should be with whomever they please..its your life.

The Families

The way family reacts can be good or very bad. I’ve experienced both. My family didn’t really care that my husband is Hispanic, on the other hand, my father-in-law hasn’t been the most welcoming. Not quite what I was looking forward to but this is a part of my life now and it being in an interracial relationship could potentially mean that you could face the same issue or worse.

Bottom Line: There’s no real way to prepare yourself for this.; but in a rocky, race-related family situation, two things are very important: Boundaries & Communication.

The General Public

On a positive note, much of the world has become much more comfortable with seeing interracial couples. However, there are many people that will stare, jeer and even shun you & your boo.There’s really no progress in responding to negativity with more negativity.

Bottom Line:Next time you see someone staring, just simply smile or say, “Hello”. Imagine their confusion & shame, much better than picking a fight.

The Relationship

In some relationships, you never skip a beat and things feel natural. But because of some of the difficulties that interracial couples may face, some may find themselves doubting their feelings for the one they love.

Bottom Line: Don’t let anyone try to persuade you out of a healthy, loving relationship just because it makes you uncomfortable. 

“Love is louder than the whispers of others.”

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Share your thoughts, experiences & tips below in the comments!

Images: We Heart It|Gotham Magazine|The Redlist

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Love Talk: V-Day Reflections

Each and every year, people always shun Valentine’s Day or say things like, “I don’t celebrate. It’s too commercial.”  Umm, duh! It has always been commercial and always will be. Valentine’s day will always be a holiday in which companies can monopolize on women’s expectations and men’s frantic “what should I get for my gf/wife/fiancee” behavior. That’s just the way it is.

Personally, I’ve always been partial. I can live with it, I can live without it. Single, married, engaged, it’s complicated or whatever the hell your status is, you make V-Day what you want it to be. Honestly, I thoroughly enjoyed the holiday. I went shopping,  got surprise flowers from my hubby, spent time with Hands and went out for my sister’s birthday at the VU in the West Village. B and I had amazing time, I looked great (yea, I put in effort), nobody got stupid drunk and my sister had an amazing time.

It was truly refreshing to see so many people in NY go to great lengths in order to keep their significant others and crushes happy on V-Day. It was adorable to me. I’m not a mushy, lovey-dovey girl. At all. But it was nice to see people purely interested in making someone else happy…that’s not commercial at all. Seeing people in love (or just in like) is a beautiful thing.

Let’s celebrate love every day.

Send your SO or crush a sweet text right now. I dare you. Tell them one thing you love about them or just simply say, “You’re on my mind”. Go for it.

Peace & Pieces!

LoveTalk: Marriage & the Ugly Truth

Let me start by saying this, I love, adore, like, and every other synonym for love-my husband. He’s an amazing person; sweet, kind but still has this phenomenal ability to not give two shits about what the world thinks of him..I love it.

Marriage on the other hand, it’s hard. Getting married is the easy part. When people constantly ask themselves if they’re ready for marriage, this is my thought: You’ve never really ready.

You can be financially sound, physically fit and completely sane but I just don’t believe anyone is actually ready. We knew each other for a long time so it didn’t feel unnatural to get married but if we would’ve waited another 3 years or so, there would have been no complaints from me. Why? Because people get too comfortable and it sucks. This can happen in any relationship, married or not, but its happened in mine. We both have become too comfortable and I hate it. He doesn’t cook for me anymore & I love his cooking. I gained unnecessary weight. We don’t do the thoughtful little things we used to do.

The biggest challenge has not been admitting it to one another; our biggest challenge has been changing it. For the past 3 months, there’s been a lot of talking but no actions taking place. As I’m writing this post, I’m asking myself if I should delete this post and never let the world see it. But my gut is telling me to go for it because then I’m accountable for making moves to change as an individual and as a wife. By the way, I hate the word wife, it annoys me.